Tom in Laredo

Trip Over!

2008-11-15T06:10:00.000-08:00

Well, it's now Saturday and I'm long home and gone again. Huge thanks to my brother Brian for showing us an awesome weekend! I'm sure I'll be back down there again before too long. For those of you waiting for the link, here's my newest adventure.

Monday 10:15am

2008-11-11T12:22:00.000-08:00

We're back at the Laredo airport waiting for our plane to board. We just had breakfast in the Laredo Villa Restaurant in the airport which was damn good - Mariachis and coffee. Any experienced travellers reading this know that I just violated one of the cardinal rules of traveling - never eat Mexican food before boarding a plane. I couldn't help myself. Nor could I help polishing off Brian's side of beans and salsa that he wasn't going to eat. Steve and I are sitting next to each other on the Laredo to Houston leg of our respective trips home. He's in for a long flight...

Last night we went out the Coyote Creek and stayed far later than we intended. It was a packed house with a really cool local band playing which is why we stuck around. The lead singer did a bitching cover of Welcome to the Jungle which brought the house down at one point. But again, we had to pay a 5 dollar cover to get in. I guess that's just the price you pay down here to go out.

The Laredo Airport is sweet. It's only four gates and we were able to park about 30 yards from the front entrance. Parking is free and there are no lines. It took us only 2 minutes to clear security but then we got stopped briefly by the Border Patrol (two friends of Brian as it turned out). I was asked if I wanted to let them know which terrorist watch lists my name is on. My reply was none that they know about.

Sunday - 8:07pm

2008-11-09T18:07:00.000-08:00

Activity: Return to civilian life

Today has been a day of recovery and relaxation after yesterday's big night out. After a quick dinner at Whattaburger, we hit up a Laredo bar, the Blue Agave. For as cheap as things are down here (rent, gas, food, etc) I was surprised to end up in a bar with a 5 dollar cover and 5 dollar beers which wasn't any fancier than a handful of places I regularly hit in Seattle for free. The price was well worth the admission though as the experience was far different than any we get in Seattle.

When we arrived at the Blue Agave, they had the Roy Jones fight on tv to which everyone was transfixed. After Jones finished receiving a thorough beating, they killed the TVs and a band played. Most of their songs were performed in Spanish and Brian inexplicably knew the words to quite a few of them. So Brian, Steve, Matt (Brian's buddy), and I just chilled with a drink or three. Brian and Steve were on their best behavior for the duration of the night while that wasn't necessarily the case for Matt or myself. Matt ultimately ended up disappearing and not surfacing until the next day with the numero de telefono of some girl. I got a little inebriated and ended up closing the bar down chatting with a super-cute girl named Ginger that regrettably lives in Laredo and not Seattle. (That's just chatting you pervs).

Today we all slept in and spent a fair amount of the day playing cards poolside. We're doing our best to finish up all the beer we bought the other day and at this point I think I'm going to be successful in rallying the troops to go out again tonight. Just have to get Brian off the phone with his girlfriend...

1600 hours

2008-11-09T11:44:00.000-08:00

Activity: La Migra

Agent Stephen here. Tom and I having been unofficially deputized by BJ, we headed for River Drive Mall, which isn't actually a mall at all, but is rather a nice public park along the Rio Grande. A mere 200 yards across the water was Mexico, where we noticed all sorts of characters lurking
about the trees.

Unless you've been to the border you won't have any sort of point of reference for what we saw. So picture this: a river with a hills on each side. On the Mexican side there are trees. In the US there is a lot of scrub brush followed by a narrow public park. Beyond the park is a series
of highways, parking lots, and eventually the city of Laredo proper.

The US Border Patrol plays a constant game of cat and mouse with aliens seeking to cross the river who may or may not be carrying illegal drugs. The Border Patrol primarily uses technology and money as their chief weapons. They hire a lot of staff to drive up and down the border often
responding to sensors and camera sightings of possible activity.

The other team uses cheap labor as its primary resource. Scouts on both sides of the river keep an eye out for marked Border Patrol vehicles. Paid guides ferry aliens across the river on inner tubes. And, assuming the aliens paid enough to their handlers, a ride waiting for them somewhere on the American side.

Both sides have high levels of experience at the border. They often recognize vehicles and staff used by each others' side. And they recognize a lot of behaviors each other uses, requring both sides to constantly adjust their patterns.

Arriving at the park BJ immediately noticed several inner tubes floating toward the American side about a third of a mile north of us. Calling it in to a Border Patrol dispatcher, several BP vehicles immediately appeared in the area to look for the aliens. The Border Patrol ("La Migra" in slang speak) didn't find anyone, but kept a close eye on the area thereafter.

As a result of their activity we saw a lot of aborted attempts to cross the river. One pair headed directly for our position, even waving to us. (We looked like civilians, after all). Just then a Border Patrol truck pulled into the parking lot behind us, scaring them back to the Mexican side.

Later in the afternoon we took a walk down the park toward the area where the inner tubes had originally crossed. Sure enough, within two minutes of walking BJ spotted someone hiding in the scrub waiting for two nearby BP vehicles to leave the area. I tried to take a picture of him while BJ discreetly signalled his buddies that someone was hiding there. The two agents started looking into the brush, scaring three hiding people back into the water and eventually into Mexico. (I'm not sure how my picture came out, but if you can see anything I'll e-mail it to Tom upon my return so he can post it).

Figuring the BP agents had ended cross-river traffic for the time being, we went back to BJ's car and took a drive around the neighborhood. BJ parked on a hilltop where we kept an eye on the park to see if anyone came out of the scrub. No one did (turned out a BP vehicle was parked just out of our line of sight), but the time was well-spent as BJ entertained us with stories about his cat-and-mouse games in the area. ("It's no game," says BJ. "It's never ending vigilence.")

All in all, a most entertaining afternoon. No car chases or gunfights or any of that good stuff, but we did glimpse into an aspect of American law enforcement that most people know nothing about.

1400 hours

2008-11-08T15:20:00.000-08:00

Activity: Lunch break

Gabe, I know you like a good torta so I thought I show you a wicked, awesome one I got down here from Tacos Monteray. It came with fries and a Mexican Coke (which is far superior to the American Coke). Steve and Brian really went wild - ordering two cheese quesadillas each. I've been eating awesome down here so far but I'm not sure how my digestive system will feel about it later...

1330 hours

2008-11-08T15:11:00.000-08:00

Activity - Heading to lunch

We stopped off for icy cool beverages on the the way to lunch and I witnessed what is almost assuredly the most wretched alcoholic beverage in existence - a 50/50 mix of Budweiser and Clamato. Clamato of course being a mix of tomato and clam juices. It also appeared to only be available in the 24oz size.

I am not making this up.

And I'm also regretting not buying a can to try.

1222 hours

2008-11-08T15:08:00.000-08:00

Activity: Stakeout at McNobie Park

Agent BJ Lorimor here - approximately half way through a grudge-match Lorimor brothers Super Munchkin game, Thomas succumbed to the belly-filling deliciousness of the Laredo Taco Company. At first I thought it was a strategy - forcing me to increase my vigilance to cover the entire park and the river so he could dominate. Then I heard snoring. His ploy wasn't a ploy. I woke him up and we continued the game. His mind was still on napping - he couldn't concentrate. Success was assured for me! With Thomas' deviousness out of the picture, I was free to concentrate on overtaking the Munchkin-King Stephen. Twenty minutes later, I was the winner, Stephen enjoyed the game, and Thomas was passed out on the bench again.

Thomas has finally begun stirring. I think his craving for ethnic Texican [food] is calling to him. Signing off to help sate his hunger [with comida].

1009 hours

2008-11-08T15:00:00.000-08:00

Activity: Stakeout at McNobie Park

We started the day 90 minutes behind schedule but that wasn't unwelcome. After the slow start, we headed to the Laredo Taco Company which are housed exclusively in Laredo area gas stations. We each picked up a few tacos for the road. I dropped a bit of Spanish on the cashier and she rattled something back at me to which I nodded as if I understood.

We then headed to the park and sat down for breakfast. Those tacos (or mariachis as the locals call them) were pretty damn good and huge - not bad for a buck-fifty each. I saved my barbacoa taco for later. The salsa from the Laredo Taco Company far surpasses the salsa from Pepe's - in case you were interested. Over breakfast, Brian gave us a safety discussion for the day though it doesn't seem like that will be necessary. The park feels pretty safe and there are lots of people here.

After breakfast we took a stroll along the side of the Rio Grande and we found some suspicious footprints and trail coming out of the brush. We're going to keep our eye on that spot. I think we tripped a Border Patrol sensor though because a Border Patrol branded sport utility vehicle came roaring over to our location in just a few minutes. He checked us out and was sufficiently convinced that we're Americans so we weren't inconvenienced in the slightest.

Now we're playing Munchkin at a picnic table and keeping a low profile...

Saturday - 0125 hours

2008-11-07T23:25:00.000-08:00

Scheduled activity: Dinner with Dale and Sally

According to Brian we're now officially on military time. More on that shortly...

This evening's excitement was dinner with Dale and Sally. Dale being my dad's cousin and Sally being his wife. We went to Pepe's Mexican Restaurant where 54 bucks can buy dinner for five. I had the envueltas, a Mexican incarnation that hasn't made its way up to Seattle yet. They're pretty much the same thing as chicken tacos but rolled up. But that rolling brings out the flavor like you wouldn't believe.

Afterwords we went out to a bar for a beer, air hockey, and skeeball. Steve bet me that he could take me in a game of air hockey so we played for a round of drinks. I don't know what he was thinking - parlor games and wagering are two of my strengths (particularly when combined). Needless to say he's buying the first round tomorrow night. A girl at the bar kept giving me eyes. Brian says that's nothing compared to what I can expect tomorrow night when we go out for real.

After that we came back to Brian's apartment, watched a movie, and are crashing because we have a big day ahead of us. That brings us to why we're using military time for the next 24 hours. Saturday's itinerary is based around a day in local McNobie Park right on the Rio Grande. Apparently that park is a common spot for smugglers and aliens to cross the river and attempt to make their escape into the U.S. The Border Patrol watches that park closely so there's often good action going on which we will hopefully see. I asked if this is safe. Brian's reply, "It'll all be supervised!"

5:17pm - Casa de BJ

2008-11-07T15:36:00.001-08:00

Planned Activity: Short relaxation period

Well, he has more planned than that. We're supposed to relax with some frosty beverages but Tom's stomach isn't agreeing with that plan. For whatever reason I feel like I'm going to barf. I bet it was that damned Pizzaria Uno deep dish pizza I ate in the Houston Airport. That airport sucks so bad. Every part of flying through there was a miserable experience and it continues to haunt me after I'm long gone. Well played, Houston. Well played.

Brian indicated that the above activity of looking out the window was in fact a joke as he agrees that Southern Texas is pretty much a desolate wasteland.

We toured Brian's apartment complex and he has a sweet pool. We have unallocated time on Sunday afternoon which I have now allocated to floating in the pool.

I'll write more when I feel better - this really sucks.

4:10pm - H.E.B. Plus

2008-11-07T15:35:00.000-08:00

Planned Activity: Cheapest Gas in Laredo

Yes, this is also on the itinerary and we hit it to the minute. $1.82/ gallon. Just a month ago I think I was paying about twice that in Seattle. Damn. We're now headed to the liquor store to get some booze and to the grocery store to get some barbecue sauce. Brian is treating us to Laredo's most popular radio station. It's a cross between Mariachi and Polka and is making me carsick. That's not going to fly all weekend.

3:32pm - 20000 ft above Southern Texas

2008-11-07T15:33:00.000-08:00

Planned activity: Look out the window to take in Southern Texas

Yes, this is on the itinerary. 15 minutes before we're supposed to land Steve and I are required to look out the window and take in the sites. This was supposed to take 15 minutes but I just looked outside for about 20 seconds and I think I took everything in. That picture should tell everything but in case it's hard to see I''ll summarize. There isn't jack shit out the window - just a bunch of ranches and farms. At one point I thought I saw a crop circle but on closer examination it was just a poorly constructed road. Perhaps once the Rio Grande comes into view things will get more exciting outside...

3:20pm - 25000 ft above central Texas

2008-11-07T15:32:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my latest adventure! I'm currently sitting next to my brother Steve (Stephen as he prefers) 25000 ft above central Texas on a Continental-branded dingleberry puddle jumper making it's way from Houston to Laredo.

"Laredo?" You ask. "What the hell's there?"

That's a great question and one that we will explore together between now and Monday. But I can say that it's the current residence of my younger brother, Brian (or BJ as he refers to himself). Brian is in the US Border Patrol and helps watch a 33 mile strip of the US-Mexico border for drug and alien smugglers. He invited Steve and I down for the weekend to get a taste of the old Southwest - an opportunity we jumped at.

Brian has taken the liberty of creating a full itinerary of the weekend for us with things scheduled out to the minute. I love a good itinerary so that's just fine with me. In the spirit of what he's already put together, I will be updating this blog for each item he has planned - the first of which will occur in 12 minutes.

So stay tuned for tales of excitement and adventure!